yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
