my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
