I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
