bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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