So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
