went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
