Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
