it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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