it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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