Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
