I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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