she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
