Already got asked if we're dating
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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