It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
