i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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