how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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