I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
