that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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