If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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