omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
either way he was missing a nipple.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
