I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
