nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
