I'm eating all of the evidence.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
