If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
