Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
