I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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