if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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