Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
