handjob tips. give me some.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
