That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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