Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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