She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
