I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
