I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
