it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
