Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
