I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Found the puke drawer
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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