if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
