The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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