I could have mohawked her pubes.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
