How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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