what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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