I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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