but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
