Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
