i barfeds in our rink
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
