Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
