you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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