a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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