You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize