Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
