i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
