I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think people are normalizing furries
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
