So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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