sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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