I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
