Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
