I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
