This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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