dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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