Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
