Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
In the future we'll all be gay
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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