It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
