toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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