I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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