hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
