just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
