Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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