my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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