Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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