margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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