Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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