alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
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