But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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