She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
