# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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