She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
