I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
