I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
