I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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