Your face is a jimmy john
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
