Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
