Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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