so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
how drunk are you?
Several
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
