why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize